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Romanticism and reality April 3, 2016

Posted by blith3 in Ramblings.
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Life is strange. You can spend a significant time working towards something, and just when you least expect it, life reveals the secret that you have longed to hear an answer for. And when it does, it is without much ceremony, and almost always when you least expect it.

While I have long suspected this – I call it my “But Story” – there’s nothing quite like suddenly being hit with the epiphany and the utter clarity that comes with it. And the epiphany is…I am never going to fall in love. Well, at least not in the traditional way – i.e. finding a romantic partner.

Now, I know it might seem presumptuous of me to say this. And trust me, I appreciate that because I have had my share of experiences where I end up putting a foot into my mouth after declaring something so confidently. But there was something so final, so…resolute…in the realization that washed over me yesterday.

Again, I know it might sound “out there”, but to be honest, it is not an entirely surprising outcome. Ask anyone who knows me well enough – including my parents – about my romantic prospects, and they will tell you that I have never been one to put much value on finding a romantic partner. So realistically speaking, I was unlikely to fall in love anyway.

Having said that, I do still get giddy around a guy I fancy as much as the next heterosexual woman and I’d as soon splash (a reasonable) amount of money on flattering clothes to look good. In other words, while I didn’t have much faith in finding a romantic partner, the slim possibility of it happening was what made it exciting for me in the instances when I did find someone attractive.

So, when the epiphany dawned on me – as I read my monthly horoscope – I can honestly say that a part of me actually mourned. It was surreal to read about the promised eventful outcomes in my love life this month only because – irrespective of one’s degree of belief in astrology and serendipitous occasions – it felt like a bunch of missed opportunities.

So while I mourn the fact that I am unlikely to fall into a whirlwind romance and be swept off my feet, the other part of me knows that I am great just the way I am. I have always been fine and will grow to be fabulous in the future. Until then…it’s nose back to the grind – tests to take and papers to write!

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